31.07.20

It finally happened.

I was asked the “when will you marry question” and it did not come from a place of concern, rather as a harsh reminder of my place in society as a weakling that needs protection. Simply put, I was told I need a husband to be secure and I would miss out on the societal benefits of marriage and family if I chose not to participate in them.

I’ve spent most of my day in between chores pondering over that interaction and the outcome of it. For the most part, I am ravaged by anger but it is a bit complicated for me as I am disappointed in myself for not fully expressing that emotion and my feelings about the subject matter directly. More importantly, addressing the questioner in a manner that seems appropriate by my standards would be considered disrespectful but I have to match that energy because the entire interaction was verbally violent to me.

Undoubtedly, I have an understanding of the cultural space I exist currently and what is expected of me but boy!

It’s another level of a rude awakening when you are told face to face your entire existence and future accomplishments are nothing short of hopeless if a man or children are not involved.